The Dragon's Discovery (Lochguard Highland Dragons Book 6) Page 6

  He paused, doing his best to push the memories away. He was too exhausted to sort through them in front of others.

  However, as Finn stared at him with curiosity and no anger, he found the strength to add, "I couldn't save her, but on her deathbed, I vowed I'd do anything to open communication lines between the different clans around the world. Until I could assure something like this wouldn't happen to someone else because of not being able to talk with other dragon clans, I would dedicate my free time to research a solution. To do that, I added a bit to the vow for myself—no sex until I found answers."

  "And so that's why you rejected Kiyana."

  He nodded. "I couldn't do it, Finn. Aye, I want the lass, but I can't turn my back on something so important. Until I discover how clans can be open with each other and are willing to help one another, I can't think of myself. Too many people could die if I put off or give up on my project. The thought of another Rachel slowly wasting away is too much for me."

  Finn's voice was softer. "Why didn't you come to me for help? Even before I took over the leadership, I would've helped you, Alistair."

  Since shaking his head required too much effort, he merely replied, "There were so many other problems, not to mention there's still a lot of prejudices surrounding other clans outside the UK. Once everyone found out Rachel was from America, it would've made things even more complicated."

  "America?" Finn echoed.

  "Aye, we met during university. I don't know if you remember when I took that research trip three years ago, but that's when I took a ship to America, to be with her during her last days."

  Finn ran a hand through his hair. "Alistair, fuck, you should've told me about this." He opened his mouth to protest, but Finn continued before he could say a word. "But the past is the past, and we have to deal with the future. Times have changed from three years ago, and you bloody well know it. Your plan actually aligns with something Sid and Gregor are doing down on Stonefire."

  Gregor Innes had been Lochguard's head doctor until he mated a female dragon on Stonefire. Alistair hadn't heard much about the dragonman since he'd left Scotland. He frowned. "What are you talking about?"

  Layla finally spoke up again. "Aye, it's true. Sid and Gregor are trying to form a worldwide medical association for dragon-shifters. They've been working on it for a wee while now."

  "I had no idea," he murmured.

  "Exactly." Finn lightly smacked the side of Alistair's head. "Which makes you an idiot. You didn't have to do this alone, and you won't have to, either, going forward." Finn stood and placed his hands on his hips. "But for the moment, we need to discuss Kiyana Barnes."

  "I still can't claim her, Finn."

  "Your bloody vow, aye? I doubt you could've fulfilled it yourself, even if you reached the ripe old age of one hundred. Are you willing to sacrifice your entire life to this vow? It's obvious you cared about this Rachel a great deal, and I respect that. But if she cared even half as much about you, then she would've wanted you to be happy, Alistair. Kiyana seems a good sort, your dragon wants her, and more importantly, she wants you, too. Granted, not all true mates end happily ever after, but I can tell you that it did for me. Arabella means the world to me. Don't you want a chance of that for yourself?"

  His first thought was that he did. His mother had been correct earlier in that he'd always pictured himself with a mate and children. A family to love and hold close, and hopefully steer to a less chaotic existence than what he'd experienced during his own childhood.

  Then Rachel had died, along with his hopes.

  But now, he might be able to have the future he'd once dreamed of. Of course, it meant he'd have to break his vow.

  Could he really do it? After all these years, could he live for more than information and always searching for a solution?

  Finn's voice filled the room again. "I see you debating it. Although I should warn you, it might take a wee bit of groveling if you truly want the lass. You hurt her, Alistair. And you need to fix that."

  The thought of Kiyana crying and in pain because of him made his stomach churn. He may not know her well, but she deserved better than that. Much better.

  And yet, he remembered how she'd been willing to be his pretend mate for six months. Maybe, just maybe, she would still agree to be with him.

  All it would take was for him to break his vow.

  Rachel's final words to him came rushing back. "Be happy, Alistair. I love you, but I'm leaving you soon. Please, find another person to make you smile and laugh. Life's too short to brood and be angry. Just…find happiness."

  Bloody hell, he'd loved her so much and she’d been taken far too soon from him. However, Rachel was gone. There was no way to bring her back.

  And if Finn and the others helped him, he could still work on fulfilling his vow while not throwing away his possible second chance at happiness.

  His heart squeezed. Fuck, it was harder to take the leap than he wanted. And yet, he wanted to. Oh, how he wanted to.

  Squatting back down, Finn gently squeezed his shoulder. "I vow we'll help you with your mission, Alistair. With two, or more, clans working together, we'll get it solved a hell of a lot quicker. Right now, I'm more concerned about the fate of one of my clan members. I won't ask again, so here's my last time: Do you want Kiyana as your mate?"

  Maybe he should've anguished longer, hesitated, and wrung his hands. But with the weight lifted from his shoulder a little—Finn always followed through on his promises—Alistair nodded. "Aye, I think I do."

  "Right, then we need to take care of this soon. Layla will help you as much as she can in containing the mate-claim frenzy until you're ready." Layla nodded and Finn added, "Ara and I will keep Kiyana at our cottage for the night. Tomorrow morning, I expect you to show up early and be ready to explain yourself to the only person it matters—Kiyana."

  "Aye, I'll be there," he stated.

  "Good. Then I'm going home. I won't contact the other clans for help until we talk a bit more in depth about all of this. But I will help you any way I can, I promise."

  "I know you will, Finn."

  Finn gave him one last long look and then left him alone with the clan doctor.

  As Layla asked him questions and explained how they’d keep his dragon silent, he barely paid attention. His mind whirred with his decision and what it meant for the future.

  Even though he wanted to jump right into the sudden change in his life, it wouldn't be easy. While he'd apologize first, Kiyana would want the full truth.

  And even if it tore open his heart to bring up the past and answer her questions, he would do it. Otherwise he may end up alone and never have a chance with the human female.

  A few weeks ago, that wouldn't have bothered him. But now, knowing there was a chance to have the life he'd once dreamed of, he didn't want to end up alone. His dragon deserved better, and maybe one day, he'd forgive himself for not fulfilling the vow himself and accept he did, too.

  Chapter Six

  At some point, Kiyana had fallen asleep out of exhaustion. So when she woke up in a strange room, it took her a second to remember everything that had happened.

  But as her eyes fell on a portrait of Finn and Arabella's three children, it all came crashing back.

  The kiss with Alistair, his refusal, and her staying with Lochguard's leaders.

  She wanted to focus on the rational side of it all. After all, few humans experienced even the beginnings of a mate-claim frenzy with a dragon-shifter. That was something she could maybe write about one day, interview others who'd gone through it, and put together a full picture.

  And yet, her usual zeal for research didn't rush forth.

  Maybe if it'd ended differently—who could turn down hot, dirty sex with a dragonman?—she would be smiling and thinking of who to talk to or what information she needed to form a proper thesis. Something along the lines of how mate-claim frenzies worked, if they produced happy marriages, and so much more.

  However, it ha
dn't ended with sex and bliss the evening before. Alistair had pushed her away even when she agreed to it, and she'd suggested it not out of academic curiosity, either. No, Alistair Boyd had a pull over her she'd never felt before. Almost as if she learned more about him and discovered his secrets, she might fall in love with him.

  Not that it mattered.

  While she didn't think she could ask for a reassignment, Kiyana would just have to find a way to stay as far away from Alistair as possible.

  Which meant she needed to get up and talk with Finn and Arabella. If she was to continue her job, she would need their help.

  However, forcing herself out of bed wasn't easy. She'd much prefer to stare out the window for a while, thinking of nothing and everything.

  Of course a baby growled and something scuttled past her door. Arabella's voice was gentle yet firm. "Freya Jocelyn Anne Stewart, get back here right now."

  Another growl, louder this time, came through the door. Unable to ignore her curiosity, Kiyana tiptoed quietly to the door and cracked it open.

  Her jaw promptly fell open. A tiny golden dragon stood at the end of the corridor, in front of a window with her wings outstretched.

  I thought dragons didn't shift until they were older. Glued to the spot, Kiyana watched as Arabella inched forward. "You know jumping out of the window isn't safe and you can only do it when Daddy is waiting for you below. Since Daddy is busy right now, you can't jump out of the window."

  The baby dragon swiveled her head to the window and Kiyana gasped.

  Both Arabella and the little dragon must've heard, because they both looked straight at her.

  The little dragon squeaked and plodded up to her door. Kiyana opened it the rest of the way and the dragon immediately jumped to put her front paws on Kiyana's legs. Unsure of what else to do, Kiyana scratched the little one behind the ears. The golden dragon leaned into her touch.

  Arabella sighed. "It seems my daughter likes you, which is a first. Usually she only allows my mate or brother to do that whilst she's in her dragon form."

  Kiyana couldn't move her gaze from the adorable little face below. "I didn't think they shifted so young."

  "They don't. I'm just the lucky one, I guess."

  While on the surface the words might seem sarcastic, she could hear the love in Arabella's voice. "Did you call her Freya?"

  "Yes. The triplets were asleep last night, but this is one of them—our only daughter, Freya. Her brothers will probably sleep a few more hours, as they're a bit lazier. Or, rather, act more like babies than Freya does."

  She smiled for the first time since everything that had happened with Alistair the night before. "She's beautiful."

  Arabella squatted and picked up the squirming dragon baby, bumping her nose against the tiny dragon snout before kissing it. "Thank you. Did you want to come downstairs and help me feed her?"

  She hesitated. If Kiyana went downstairs, she'd have to face reality once more.

  However, Freya squeaked again—Kiyana assumed it'd become a roar at some point when Freya was older—and she couldn't resist the little one's charm. "Okay."

  Freya jumped out of her mother's arms and into Kiyana's. She stumbled, but managed to keep from tumbling back.

  Arabella shook her head. "If Freya wants you to carry her, then it shall be. Otherwise, it'll be nothing but a headache and someone jumping out the W-I-N-D-O-W the first chance she has."

  Adjusting her hold on Freya, Kiyana said, "I can manage. Although hopefully she grows out of being carried because she must already weight at least two stone."

  "If my mate has his way, she'll be carried a while yet. Finn likes to spoil her." Arabella motioned. "Come on. The sooner we feed her, the sooner she should fall asleep and shift back into her human form."

  As they walked, Kiyana asked, "Why does she shift so early?"

  "That is a long story, and one I can tell you later after she's asleep. Otherwise, she'll listen and get ideas again. I love my daughter, but she's too clever for her own good."

  Freya squeaked again and Kiyana laughed. "Maybe she'll be a charmer, like Finn."

  "Then I feel for whoever ends up as her mate." Arabella smiled to herself. "Although given how surly many of the dragon-shifters are, maybe she'll do one of the surliest some good."

  They reached the kitchen and Freya jumped down, sprinted around the table, and stopped in front of what looked like a rather large dog food bowl.

  Arabella fetched something from the refrigerator and said, "Freya also likes to eat in her dragon form more often than not, hence the bowl. I worry she doesn't get enough nutrients, but the doctor says she's doing brilliantly. As long as she eats in her human form twice a day, too, there shouldn't be an issue."

  After the dragonwoman placed some cooked meat and vegetables into the bowl, she turned to Kiyana. Somehow she tore her gaze away from the tiny dragon chowing down her food as Arabella asked, "What about you? Would you like some breakfast? I promise I won't serve it in a dog food bowl."

  Kiyana's lips twitched. "Tea would be fantastic."

  "I'll add some biscuits."

  "Do you have any chocolate ones? It's definitely a chocolate kind of morning."

  Arabella grinned. "A female after my own heart. Sit, I'll get everything ready and give you plenty of chocolate to choose from."

  As the dragonwoman went about her task, Kiyana realized how mundane it was. Even being part dragon didn't completely erase the human half of things. She'd known that, of course, and yet it was fascinating to see in real life.

  She'd been about to ask a few questions when Finn walked in. "There's my bonnie daughter, in her wee dragon form."

  Freya looked up, food stuck to her chin, and squeaked.

  Finn chuckled. "We'll have to work on that roar of yours some more, lassie. Now, finish your breakfast."

  Without missing a beat, Freya went back to eating.

  It seemed Freya really was a daddy's girl.

  Too bad Finn's next words destroyed the almost peaceful morning Kiyana had managed. He stated, "Alistair will be here shortly."

  "Why?" she asked quickly.

  Finn's gaze never left hers. "He and I had a wee chat last night, and it seems the reasons he was so against a mate-claim frenzy aren't as big as he thought they were. He wants to come and talk with you, Kiyana. What happens after that is up to you."

  Her heart rate kicked up. Did they just let mate-claim frenzy-mad dragons run amuck? "I-I don't know. He was barely coherent last night. How are we supposed to talk at all?"

  Arabella sighed. "Sometimes, Finn, I think you make things overly dramatic on purpose." The dragonwoman's gaze moved to hers. "A mate-claim frenzy can be contained by silencing the dragon with drugs. Not forever, mind you, if administered carefully. But long enough to allow the human half to function for a bit."

  Kiyana looked between the couple. "I still don't understand. He said he didn't want me, and I'm not about to beg him for it."

  Finn grunted. "And rightly so. If he has at least two brain cells inside his head, he'll plead a bit." She opened her mouth to ask another question, but Finn continued, "I can't tell you his reasons, but just listen to him, aye? If after that you still want to send him away, I'll do everything in my power to keep him away from you for your stay here. I vow that on my mate and children's lives."

  To an everyday human, the vow might seem worthless. But mates and children were valued highly in dragon-shifter society, making it a solemn one indeed.

  Kiyana couldn't believe she was even considering it. She'd packed away everything the night before, and then some more this morning. She'd almost returned to normalcy with Arabella and little Freya.

  Talking with Alistair would bring everything back and possibly weaken her rational resolve to stay clear.

  Arabella sat next to her and touched her shoulder. "If nothing else, think of it as an interesting bit of research. You'll see what a dragon-shifter is like without their dragon."

  Given what she knew
, it wouldn't be a happy time for Alistair. "I'm usually not thinking clearly when Alistair is around. So I'm not sure that's a good argument."

  Finn shrugged. "Not being able to think when someone is around can be a good thing, lass. Trust me, it sometimes helps when reason goes to the wayside and you have to rely on feelings and instinct. To be honest, that's how our dragons work all the time."

  Kiyana decided to be blunt. "Why are you so determined for me to give Alistair a chance?"

  Finn raised his brows. "Honestly? Alistair and I were once close friends. I know the kind of male he is, and even with the changes that happened three years ago, he's a good one most of the time—we all have our off days. Besides, you are his fated mate, meaning you're supposed to be his best chance at happiness. I want my friend and clan member to have the chance to be happy, and if we're all fortunate, you could be, too."

  Looking at Finn, Arabella, and then little Freya, Kiyana briefly imagined her living a similar sort of life. One with her and Alistair downstairs at breakfast, their son or daughter playing on the floor. Maybe even Alistair's nosey mother paying an early visit to spoil her grandchild.

  To some it may seem mundane. But to her, it would be perfect.

  Could she risk her heart again, though? If only she understood inner dragons better, such as how much effort it took to fight one off during a frenzy. For all she knew, Alistair could've been fighting with everything he had the night before just so he wouldn't touch her.

  Which made him a little nobler than she'd originally thought.

  If nothing else, she could sate her curiosity. It wasn't as if talking with the man meant she'd sign over her life forever.